Dates and Dating: Pretending hurts you as you make your choices based on wishes rather than reality. When you acknowledge that your life is the way it is, right at this very moment, then you cease putting your energy into wishes. This frees your energy for achieving the life you want based on your dreams.
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Singles life always seems to be full of ups and downs. You had a wonderful date last week-end. You are up! The second and third dates with the same person are not quite so great. You are down... Both the "up" and the "down" are the way things are. And that is where you start. At this particular moment you have to be exactly where you are. If you are reading this article, you are probably single and unattached or unhappy with your present relationship. Your life is the way it is right at this moment. That is your reality. The truth is that nothing you can do will force things that are not under your control to be different. This means you can not start where you want to start; you have to start where you are. Pretending things are different keeps them the way they are, for you make your choices based on wishes rather than reality. When you acknowledge that your life is the way it is, right at this very moment, then you cease putting your energy into wishes. This frees your energy for achieving the life you want based on your dreams. Acknowledging and accepting where you are does not mean giving up. It actually puts you in a position to visualize your life the way you want it to be. And for dating to be most effective, you need to define your reality and your dreams before you start to date. Dreams If you could have any relationship you wanted, what would it be? List all your relationship dreams on a separate sheet of paper. Now look at those dreams and answer three questions: 1. Is this my dream or is it the dream of someone for me? Is it my dream to marry a financially successful man or am I carrying over a dream from my mom? Do I really need to marry a person 10 years younger than me or am I following in the footsteps of my dad?2. Is my dream realistic? For example: Is it realistic to dream of having children if I am 45 years old, over 50 years old? Is it realistic to dream of a time-consuming relationship if I am caring for an elderly parent? Is it realistic to dream of marrying someone ten years younger (older) than I am and having it work? After you work out those two questions, add number 3--the most important question of all. 3. Does my dream allow me to start where I am, right now? |
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