Singles: Use your imagination to overcome shyness. Imagine situations with the opposite sex. Shyness is evaporating as you interact with this single. Don't be shy in the conversation but don't be unduly bold. This is not a fantasy situation. Try to make it real life! |
Everyone has some situations where they feel shy. Singles who have overcome their shyness normally think about the other person rather that themselves. For example, Erin is single and Erin is shy. When approached by or approaching a member of the opposite sex, Erin is focused on that person's reaction to Erin or panicking about what to say. Erin is thinking, "I know it. They are looking at that scar on my forehead" or "My hair is awful today" or "This shirt makes me look so fat." Maybe Erin is focusing on what to say to say to such a beautiful single, panicking more as the single gets closer. Erin should focus entirely on that single as the single approaches. Close your eyes. Imagine that you are Erin. There stands a ringless single person you would really like to meet. This single is very appealing to you and has not noticed you yet so you have a chance to (covertly, don't stare) look them over. What do you like most about this single: eyes, body, smile, hair, scent, mouth, attire? Keep that imagination rolling: The person turns, meets your eyes, smiles, and starts toward you. Although you don't know it yet, this single's name is Chris. What are thinking about? Do you remain focused on Chris or do you suddenly start thinking about you. Go over and over this in your mind. I'll bet, if you are honest, when Chris starts toward you, you switch horses and start thinking about you. Keep your imagination going now. Imagine Chris is coming toward you. Focus on something about Chris that is attractive and can be mentioned in conversation with a stranger. Focus on something YOU can mention in conversation with a stranger. Something that is socially acceptable. That doesn't include rear-ends or other very personal parts of the body. In fact, it does not include any parts of the torso at all. Look at yourself as Chris walks toward you. Are you smiling? Dead-pan expression? Blushing? Holding eye contact or looking away? Looking at your feet? Turning and walking away? What are you doing? Now, forget you. Imagine yourself beginning to smile as Chris walks toward you. As you smile, you remain focused on Chris, not you. You say, "Hi, I'm Erin." Now what? Now say something nice about Chris if you are comfortable doing that. Just quit thinking about you!! Don't be shy in the conversation but don't be unduly bold. This is not a fantasy situation. Try to make it real life! Play this scene all the way to the end, always bringing focus back to Chris, not Erin.
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