Single Again: The end of any relationship is hard on self-esteem. Low self-esteem makes people feel more insignificant, thus, more lonely. If one is not to forever be the loneliest number, you need to take charge of your life and your self-esteem.

Single Again: Although it is not easy to develop new friends, the friends developed after the end of a relationship are often the closest friendships you will ever have.

Rebuild Self-Esteem.
By DH Owens and SOLO for Singles Staff

The end of any relationship is hard on self-esteem. Low self-esteem makes people feel more insignificant, thus, more lonely.

Negative self-talk does not help. Pay attention to the way you "talk" to yourself so that you don't take your ailing self-esteem to new lows.

Notice the feelings that surface, though, as you say positive things about yourself.

You feel better immediately, don't you?

Rebuilding self-esteem seems an inseparable part of overcoming loneliness. A feeling of positive self-worth can be developed over time with the following six steps:

1. Believe in yourself.

One step in building self-esteem is believing in you. Believe you are good enough; you are deserving; you are capable; you are lovable.

2. Get in touch with feelings.

If you were taught to repress your feelings in the past, you eventually lost touch with them. Therefore, you must learn to express those feelings now, even though it might be risky.

3. Identify and fulfill needed changes.
Determine the changes you want in your life. These changes can be in your close friendships, your hobbies, your job, your social life, your feelings, your attitudes, etc. Choose the changes YOU want, not those changes someone wants for you.

Journaling helps you share your experiences with you. Keep a journal for seven to ten days to identify your needs. Note what makes you feel positive and what makes you feel negative. At the end of that time, review the journal to identify unmet needs.

Once you have identified your needs, be persistent in meeting them. You can ask others for help, but you are the person who has to make certain your needs are fulfilled!

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4. YOU approve of you

Self-approval is lasting!

When you approve your actions, your feelings, and your thoughts, you build healthy self-esteem that no one can take away from you.

When you seek approval from others, however, you lose control over that sanction.

Appreciate your own effort; don't wait for others to approve you. Give yourself a hug, a gold star, and more!

5. Share

Choose a supportive friend or relative and tell your friend what you have done. Explain that you are not looking or expecting their approval or disapproval, you merely want them to listen to you from time to time.

6. Review successes

Another reason to keep a journal is to have timely "success reviews." Going back to past successes is excellent for self-encouragement.

The above six steps will lead you to self-esteem. Self-esteem will make it easier to develop a social network.

Is it as easy as it sounds?

Of course not.

But it does work when you keep going through the steps.

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